Thursday, May 9, 2013

Old Skeletons and Prayer.

Lately, I've been thinking a lot about praying and prayers.

Yes, they are two different things, I think...and yet the same.

The last few weeks, I've really felt the Holy Spirit moving in my heart...

Not only have my daily devotions been specifically dealing with praying, but I've had a lot going on in my life that demands prayer time.

It's got me thinking about the subject...about what the true purpose of praying is...how our prayers should be said...and what to expect when we pray.

For some, praying is something we do when we need to ask God for something...either an answer or sign we've been seeking, a wish or hope granted, an item we desire or to help heal someone we love.

To others, praying is simply talking to God...thanking Him, sharing the deepest desires of our heart, or even asking for forgiveness.  While I think it's a mixture of both, I've come to understand the power of prayer in a different way.

Over the course of my life, I've said a lot of prayers...all of them different.

Prayers to keep my family safe (while in violent situations in the Philippines).

Prayers to heal broken hearts (when my mom and dad divorced).

Prayers to bless my store (when the store traffic and sales revenue are down).

Prayers that people see the light of Christ in me.

Prayers that God will draw the people I love together.

Prayers for forgiveness, when I've wronged people.

...and prayers asking God to heal those I love.

I think in the last six months, God has really taught me a lot about praying...

I had a very special friend, whom I loved dearly, recently pass away from cancer.  Her death left me broken hearted.  While I know God was calling her home, my selfish heart wanted for God to make her better.  I believed that He had the power and ability to do so.

As her physical battle became greater, my sleep at night became more and more disturbed.  While I am a fairly light sleeper, I am usually a very sound sleeper.  Several times a week, at different times, I would randomly wake up during the night.  Each time that happened, the very first thing I would think of was Deb.

While the rest of my house was sleeping soundly, I would just lay there and pray for her...I would pray for healing, comfort, peace...strength, courage...and hope.

Occasionally, God would bring another friend or two to my mind and I would pray for whatever struggles they were facing as well.   During the course of this praying schedule, as I closed out my prayers each time, I would always drift back to sleep.

While of course I prayed for Deb and others during my daily devotions each day, as Deb drew nearer to the end of her earthly life, my midnight oil prayer time became a nightly event.  A few times, Deb even called me during the middle of the night...I would always desperately answer the phone, only to be worried with no one on the other end.  In turn, I would lay there and just pray.  At one point, I shared with her daughter my nightly prayer schedule...and during the course of our conversation, it became clear to me that God was using Deb in my life, teaching me about the power of prayer.

Make no mistake, I do believe that prayer gives us the ability to ask God for what we need or want.  Prayer is one of the most powerful gifts that God has given us.  It gives us the ability to step before the God of creation and boldly speak to Him.  Philippians 4:6 tells us:  "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God."

However,  in no way does praying mean that God will answer our prayers the way we WANT them to be answered.

Sure, things may work out how we "think" things should work out...but sometimes they don't.

BUT, what I have learned during my prayer moments with God, as my walk with Him grows deeper, is that He changes our prayers to match His will.

This is what I mean by that:  In the beginning of Deb's battle, I was asking God to heal her...I wanted God to fix her.  Make her better, so that I didn't have to lose her and say goodbye to her on earth (notice I was saying the word "I").  Towards the end, my prayers were more for comfort for her physical pain and the emotional pain of her family and friends...and for the peace that comes from knowing that we will see Deb again one day.

But, as I began to understand what we truly get out of praying, my prayer time became stronger and much more intimate. 

And what is it that we get??  A deeper, much more in-tune relationship with God.

It BLOWS my mind.  In other words, I like waking up at 3:20 in the morning to spend time in prayer.

With that being said, last week, my devotions were SPECIFICALLY about praying.

I've shared with you all in the last several months, my frustration with the slower days at the store and how scary it is to see the sales dwindling.  While I remain in prayer about the store, trusting God to provide what we need financially so that the bills get paid and we can remain in operation, in order to minister to women in our area, my devotions last week spoke strongly to me.

It talked about hindrances to prayers.

Hindrances?  What?  I thought nothing could stand between me and God?

Wrong.

What really spoke to me was when the writer stated that there are two hindrances to answered prayer:  Unconfessed sin & UNRESOLVED CONFLICT.

Uh-oh...those Skeletons...waaaay back in the closet.

Could this possibly be why I don't feel much peace when I pray about the store?  Because there are people in my past that I never asked for forgiveness for?

The voice I heard from God, as I asked myself this, was indeed yes.

DANG it.

So, after more prayer and asking God to forgive me for not resolving those past conflicts, I absolved to drag those skeletons out and get rid of them.  (Halloween, here we come!)

I made some phone calls, emailed a person I hurt in the past and asked for forgiveness from all of them.  I dealt with some problems I had been neglecting, because I was afraid of the repercussions.

I didn't expect anything in return from these people I needed to apologize to.  I just wanted them to know that God had been dealing with me and that I needed to be obedient to what He wanted me to do.  I just needed to apologize and ask for forgiveness for wronging them in the past.

I'll be honest.  It was hard for me to do....I had to swallow hard a few times...I felt my pulse quicken and my palms get clamy.  But, in the end, I was thankful for the graciousness and grace showed to me, by those I talked to.

Now to those skeletons:  So long sucka's!!  Satan no longer has that grip on me!

Ultimately, this is what I've learned about prayer:  Prayer is where we learn what God wants for us.  Yes, we can boldly approach His throne with our requests, petitions and pour out our heart's emotions....but its the deeper relationship with God that makes us stronger and better.

God will always give an answer...we just have to be faithful to listen to what He has to say.  Part of praying is listening...just like any conversation you may have with someone you love.

Ever talk to someone that you just cannot seem to get away from?  Don't you just go crazy??
Imagine how God must feel if all you do is pray to Him and ask Him for what you want and then just scurry along, onto other things?

I have people that come in the store occasionally that don't really want to shop, but rather talk.  Some of its happy things they want to share with me, while others need someone to talk to.  Many times, I can see it in their eyes...that quiet struggle they are facing or a battle they are fighting.  I am always happy to listen to anyone who wants to talk to me, but when they share with me their heartache, it helps me pray for them better.  If they don't feel comfortable opening up, that's okay...I still mentally put them on my prayer list.

Even though Deb has passed away and is living with the Lord now, the Lord still wakes me up at random hours in the night...and its a peaceful feeling knowing that He wants some of my time, alone with Him.

How funny it is to me to know that God understands that 4 o'clock in the morning is about the only time I have for "free time"...completely uninterrupted, one-on-one, truly intimate time with my heavenly Father. 

Believe me when I say this, I take prayer very seriously...it has helped to changed my relationship with the Lord as well as my life...and Deb's life helped teach me that.   If I ever say I will pray for you, I mean it.

You'll be on the list. 

With that being said, if there is something you want me to pray for you about, let me know what's burdening your heart...we can pray together!  Matthew 18:20 says "For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them."

Awesome.

 
My precious friend, Deb and I

1 comment:

  1. This is the second blog I have read from you and I loved both. You make a lot of sense.

    Monday, I was listening to Joel Osteen's podcast from Sunday's service and in it he talks about seeking God in your everyday life. Essentially he spoke about praying to God throughout the day. Whether that be just to acknowledge him or to be thankful or to pray for blessing or strength in your own life or someone elses. Acknowleding him in your everyday life is important. He referenced Proverbs 3:6 "In all your ways submit to him, and he will make you pats straight".

    God wants to hear from us all throughout the day. I've often just talked to Him when I needed Him and over the last few months as I have grown in my faith, I have learned that I need Him to be a part of all of my daily activities. I choose to put God first, family second and everything else after.

    I find myself praying in the morning just for Him to be with me or my family throughout the day. I find myself at work thanking Him for my Job and asking him to help me be the best I can for the families that I serve. There is such peace in know that at any moment I can talk to God and know that He is listening.

    Like you mentioned, I believe that over time, our prayers change as God helps us to see the bigger picture of things.

    Great blog :)

    Stephanie Laffery

    ReplyDelete