My Sinners Heart & the Crucifixion.

Here it is, the day before Good Friday.

I've had a great week...I've made decisions this week that I feel like God has been preparing me for, for months...new, exciting stuff is happening in the store...SOON.

And since those decisions were made, I've felt that my walk with the Lord has flourished...I've felt connected...walking in His will...listening to Him and what He wants for my life...

Its been SO GREAT!!  I know the valley's will come, but I do admit that I hate them.

So, then what do I do??  I go an screw it up.

I told a lie this morning.

I can hear Satan rejoicing...

Why is it that when we are walking the closest with the Lord...we screw it up and blatantly sin?

I am reminded of Peter (once again).  Proclaiming his undying love and loyalty to Jesus...

Only to deny him 3 times in ONE NIGHT.

Just like me.

Every time we sin, we are choosing to follow the blackness in our hearts...and deny the cross that Jesus set before us.

I feel like crap right now...shame has set in.  I know what I did was wrong...it was out of fear and selfishness that I told this lie.  I am reminded of my childhood, when I would lie to my mom or dad...I know the devil hates it when Christians confess their sins, or bring them to light...its easier for Satan to torment you, when you don't verbalize your wrong doings.

I asked the Lord for forgiveness and I know He grants it...but the irony is not lost on me.

Good Friday...the day that we remember all the Lord suffered through for us...the day He suffered to save me from my sins.  All week I've been thinking about the cross and what it means...and more importantly, what the crucifixion meant.

And here I go again,  falling on my face...

Many years ago, (like 20), my Pastor James from Blackshear Place Baptist Church in Oakwood, GA preached a sermon that I still remember with extreme clarity (really, its the only sermon I remember like I do this one).  As I recall, at the end of the sermon, there wasn't a dry eye in the sanctuary.  The sermon was a study on the crucifixion...what it was about, why it was practiced and what really took place during a crucifixion.  As Pastor James taught us about the crucifixion, it became clearer what Jesus really endured for us. 

We see it depicted in movies or pictures...and sure, the men on the crosses look beaten and bloody...but I have never seen a clear picture of what it really must of been like for Jesus.

You see, the crucifixion was reserved for the countries WORST criminals...I suppose what would be equivalent to our death penalty today.  Rapists, murderers, child molesters...you know, the REALLY bad criminals...those who commit crimes against our fellow mankind...those who's acts disgust us to our very core.

When Jesus was sentenced to die by crucifixion, that meant he was sentenced to die like the worst criminal...along with the sentence also came the torture, beatings and public mockery that Jesus would have to endure.

The Bible tells us that Jesus was handed over to the soldiers to be flogged after the people had demanded Barabbas be released and Jesus crucified in his place (Matthew 27:26).

Here's what a flogging really means...

The soldiers used what is called a cat-of-nine-tails...a cluster of long skinny leather strips all bound together, so that the flogger could achieve a better grip.  Jesus would of been chained to a post, with his back to the flogger (or flogger's...meaning plural).  The long skinny strands of leather would of had bits of crude metal, broken glass or even sharp rocks embedded in the leather.  When the flogger cracked the whip on Jesus's body, the long skinny strands would of wrapped around His body.  Of course, because of the bits of sharp metal, glass or rocks, it would of dug into his flesh.  As the flogger pulled the whip back, the skinny tails would of ripped flesh as they retreated.

Over and over, the floggers would do this...5-10-15-20 times?  Who knows how long Jesus had to endure this...

Bits of His flesh would of been hanging off his body...parts of his body exposed...bleeding profusely....losing energy...losing physical strength.

Get the picture?
And still, Jesus let them.

As if that wasn't enough, after Jesus was flogged, the Bible tells us that the governors soldiers took Jesus into the "Praetorium" which would of been like an arena like area (Matthew 27:27).  It would of been an open area where they could place Jesus in the center and mock him.

We are told that the soldiers stripped Him of his clothing...

All jokes aside, most of us can't even bear to wear a swimsuit in public...and there is our King, standing naked for all the world to make fun of...

They made him a crown of thorns.

Do you remember how much it hurt the last time you pricked your finger on a rose bush?  When the soldiers "placed" it on Jesus' head, they shoved the crown of thorns DEEP into his flesh and jammed it down on his head...

Seriously, the pain is more than I can imagine.

And still Jesus stood there.

Next, they placed a robe on Him...and mockingly knelt down and worshiped Him.  This is noteworthy because keep in mind that He was flogged and so his body and torso would of been completely open and bloody.

Ever scrape your knee or something and then wear jeans??  By the end of the day, if the wound isn't covered, your jeans have completely dried to the wound...and you go to take your pants off and it HURTS because the fabric has stuck to the wound?

They placed the robe on Him...all over his blood crusted and open flesh body...and later on ripped the robe off...re-exposing all of his wounds. 

And STILL, Jesus remained.

Matthew 27:30 tells us the soldiers spit on Him (which shows such disgust and contempt).
They beat him over and over with clubs...striking His already weak body, over and over again.

He couldn't of been able to even stand...

They ripped out parts of his bead...lets be honest ladies...those of you who get your eyebrows waxed...you know it hurts.  IT DOES.  The soldiers RIPPED out chunks of His beard from His flesh...

Our Jesus must not of even been recognizable...He was beaten and tortured so severely.

And still, Jesus remained.

While the soldiers forced Jesus to carry His own cross to Golgotha, it doesn't come as a surprise that Jesus stumbled while He walked.

As horrific as all this is, its really just the tip of the iceberg, compared to the brutality of the actual crucifixion.

As they laid Jesus down on the cross, spikes....HUGE spikes, were driven through His hands and feet.

Ever hit yourself with a hammer?  Yea, you know how bad that hurts...

And these soldiers weren't "gentle" about it...driving the nails deeper and deeper into His hands.

If you've ever gotten a tattoo, you'll know that your feet and hands are some of the most sensitive areas on your body...they are full of nerve endings that resound all over your body.

Every single square inch of Jesus's body would of felt the pain that shot from each slam of the soldiers hammers.

After Jesus was nailed on the cross, the soldiers would of pulled the cross to an upright position...

Now comes the real pain...

As Jesus HUNG on the cross, and when I say HUNG, I mean HUNG.  The force of gravity would of immediately taken over and the flesh in His hands would of started tearing from lack of physical strength.  It would of been incredibly difficult for Jesus to keep Himself upright.

As His body became physically weaker and weaker, it would of started to slump further down, making it almost impossible for Him to breath.

AND STILL HE REMAINED.

At any point, He could of called down the angels...God the Father could of struck them all dead....brought Jesus up to Heaven...

Ended it all...

But then I wouldn't of had the chance to live for the Lord and spend eternity with Him.

Just like the story of Abraham, when God asked him to sacrifice his beloved first born son, Isaac.  At the moment of true obedience on Abraham's part, God provided the Lamb for the sacrifice.

And that's what Jesus was for all of us.

The LAMB of GOD.  The ONLY way any of us could ever have TRUE SALVATION.  He gives us the HOPE of a future with the Lord.

After all of that...I was still stupid enough to disobey His word today.

I thank God that He loved me enough to send Jesus to do that for me...so that the blackness in my sinners heart can be made as clean as snow.

This is what I think about each Easter season...
Happy Easter to you.