Peter and Me.

So, I admit it....I've gotten into the History Channel's The Bible, TV mini-series.

I think its COOL.

I have read the Bible, front-to-cover, twice now in my lifetime.  Some of the stories conjure up images within my imagination, as I try to understand what it must of been like to witness Noah and the ark and watch it rain for 40 days...or what the Red Sea really looked like when Moses parted the waters...or even felt the earth tremble as the walls of Jericho tumbled down as Joshua and his men marched around it.  The Bible is brimming full of instances in history that defy logic and create wonder and awe...and if you didn't see it with your own eyes, its hard to imagine the magnitude of what God really did.  The movie puts an entirely different spin on the ever popular Sunday School stories that many of us have heard all our lives.  In our youth, the stories are depicted with sunny faces, fluffy angels and even a pretty rainbow. 

The reality of what transpired however, is far from sunny and happy.

I think its somewhat noteworthy to comment on the fact that there is a warning sign about the explicitly of some images that are portrayed in this movie...but in all reality, Hollywood most likely hasn't even touched what the brutality of those times were.  I mean, think about what the Crucifixion really is about.  There is nothing beautiful, or even heroic about it (apart from what Jesus did for us).  And, as I watch the movie, it becomes clear that most of the characters in the Bible that followed God were subject to horrific brutality.

But, really, what was I thinking?  When Samson's eyes were gouged out, was it really a pretty sight?  No.  I'm sure there was not a doctor there to give him pain medicine to ease his physical suffering.

Ever wonder what it would be like to be caged up with lions?  I can't even bear to stand close to a lions cage at the zoo, let alone be in a den with them.

Anyways, moving on...

So far, my absolute favorite part has been when Peter meets Jesus for the first time.

I think out of all the apostles and characters in the Bible, I identify the most with Peter.

He stumbled horribly, he doubted, he failed...and yet he loved Jesus so much.

In the movie, Peter meets Jesus as he is about to go fishing.  It is obvious that Peter is very discouraged by the lack of fish.  When Jesus offers to help him, Peter declines the invitation and even goes as far to say "whats the point?  There is no fish out there anyway..."  (as he wistfully looks out onto the water, discouraged by the lack of fruit for his labor).

I have felt the same way and said similar words this week:  "What's the point??"  It makes me wonder, why try so hard?  Why keep going?  Does it really matter how hard we try?

Okay, back to the movie...

Of course, not dismayed by Peters brush off, Jesus walks into the water, forcing Peter to help him climb up into the boat (keep in mind, Peter already told Jesus no...but as we all understand, Jesus didn't take no for an answer...I love the smile on Jesus face as he gazes at an exasperated Peter...a teasing smirk, or chuckle if you will...like I said, the visual truly helps to understand their relationship better).

Completely exasperated by his self-invited guest, Peter casts the boat off the shore.  From there, Jesus commands the fish to the water around the boat, tells Peter to cast the net...and fish abound, much to Peters amazement and awe.  He looks at Jesus with wonder...Jesus gazes back at him with love.

I've talked before about when Peter walked on water (it's one of my favorite stories).  Peter seemed to be one of the boldest about following Jesus to the ends of the earth and yet his lack of faith always seemed to get the best of him.

Why?  Because he's human.  And so am I.

And still, Jesus relationship with Peter was special...because above all, Peter loved his Lord.

In another scene, when Jesus is speaking to Peter right before He is arrested (I skipped ahead to a special sneak peek), Peter proclaims his undying loyalty and love to Jesus.  Its the look on the actors face who plays Jesus that speaks volumes, as he rushes forward and embraces Peter.  He knows what is to come...

Its the hug that matters...Jesus tells Peter before the rooster crows, he will deny him three times.

And in Jesus's embrace, He forgives Peter for what he is about to do.

How many times do we deny God in our own lives?  Every time we choose something over Him.

Every time we doubt what He can do in our lives.

Every time we panic (as I have done this week).

And yet, because of the Grace that only He can provide, He is ready to hug us back.  Forgiveness is there for the taking!  If we have asked Jesus to live in our hearts, then we are His eternal prodigal children.

What a comfort that brings!

I'll admit, there are some scenes in the movie that I can't watch...

I wont be able to watch the crucifixion. 

It's too much for my sinners heart to watch what He did for me.  I don't deserve what He did.

None of us do.

And yet, He did it, because He loves me that much.  MY face was in His minds-eye as he was brutally beaten and tortured.  He could of called down the angels and destroyed all of those who mocked and beat Him...but He knew that I would need a savior and someone to live for...and so he laid there and let people beat Him, stab Him, shove thorns down into His flesh, rip a cat-of-nine tails around his body, tearing chunks of flesh off of His bones and tearing chunks of his beard out of His face.

If we were to witness the crucifixion today, the most gruesome, grisly Hollywood horror flick would still not compare to what Jesus physically endured for us.

Above all, as I continue to watch the movie and ponder the events that transpired, it makes me ashamed at the lack of faith that I have.

What would I do if I were faced with similar circumstances in life?

Earlier this week, I was on the verge of a panic attack, as I stewed and fretted over the state of the world, our economy and the direction the government is taking our country.

I was alone in the car and I needed to talk to someone....so, I called my dad.

First of all, if I've never told you all this before, my dad was a pastor before my parents decided to become missionaries to the Philippines.

I have said this so many times, but I wish that I could go back in time.  I would like to be able to go back to when my dad preached, but have the understanding that I have now.

He was a great pastor.

God gave him a special ability to comprehend scripture and be able to explain it in a way that gives clear understanding.

My dad's still got it...

I felt so much better after I talked to him.  He simply said that if we live for the Lord, we will spend eternity with Him...its useless to get all worked up about what "may come"...but we are assured that the end will result with eternity spent with Jesus.

Sure, we may face trials that go beyond our comprehension...and there may soon come a day where our faith is tested, as it was for many of those in the Bible.

I told him I fear for my children...but my dad just said this is a time that we should be teaching our children right from wrong and to teach them the importance of taking a stand for what is right.

As I hung up the phone with him, I was overwhelmed with a feeling of gratitude that Paul Leslie is my dad.  I still miss his teaching and preaching...but I'm glad that I can call and talk with him when my heart is troubled.

And even more overwhelmed with gratitude that the Lord is my heavenly father, looking down on me with love and guidance.  He gives me the peace that I need in these troubled times.